The decision to blog...

I've thought about starting a blog for a few years but life kept getting in my way and distracting me from starting. I've been enjoying reading my dad's blogspot for the past couple of years, as well as one a friend of mine writes and their ability to devote time to pen thoughts has inspired me to finally sit down and begin writing my own blog. Until I actually started clicking on the setup menu bars I had no idea what was involved in creating a  blog. First thing they ask is for you to choose a name.

Believe it or not, it's not easy to choose a title for a blog since I wasn't even sure what to write about. There are too many options and I worried about pigeon-holing myself into a set category. I had seen "Julie and Julia" and as much as I love cooking and reading recipes, I felt cooking blogs were probably overdone (no pun intended). My dad writes a great blog, Life As I Know It, in an op-ed style reflecting on his 89 years of life, his experiences having served in WWII, having retired from local politics, a former career as a journalist and his frustrations over current politics of the day (http://bfjarrell.blogspot.com/).  I've been impressed with his insight about many of today's issues and how he has succeeded in staying focused on the broader idea to get his points across. When I was a teenager I thought my dad was just an old-fashioned fuddy-duddy who knew very little about the world. It's amazing what four decades of living beyond my teenage years did to increase pop's IQ.

And that brings me back to my current dilemma: what to write about for my own blog and choosing a name that is relevant to what my blog series will reflect?

To make my decision I mentally reviewed my life experiences. As I establish my new blog, I have just celebrated my 57th birthday. I was born in West Virginia and my family moved to Florida when I was two years-old and that's where I was raised. I am one of seven children - third eldest, first daughter. I started work at age 13 at my dad's insistence and was an assistant swimming instructor for toddlers at the city Parks and Rec Department. When I was 15, he convinced the publisher of a weekly newspaper to hire me to set type and do ad layout. After high school graduation I was hired as a reporter and photographer in a bureau office for a double-daily newspaper. When I was 20, I decided to move to LA to become a famous writer. By the time I arrived the infamous writers strike of 1973 had just begun. I ended up working in a bank as a teller so I could have rent and food money. I lasted less than a year, frustrated at not being able to live up to my dream, so went home to Florida and returned to the newspaper I had left. That job didn't last too long because I began dating a co-worker and was fired for fraternization. Yes - those were the days when employers could terminate you for dating a fellow employee and it was always the female who lost their job because, after all, men had other people to support. This one had alimony and child support. I never saw him again and barely remember his name but will always remember that our relationship caused me to lose a job unfairly. I ended up moving to Tampa after being hired as a traveling photographer and this is where I met my husband, Steve, in 1976.

Since that time, most of my work has been in public relations of one type or another. I worked briefly at another two other newspapers, a medical center, an ad agency, a community theatre and when my husband and I decided to adopt a sibling group of three special needs brothers from foster care in 1996, I semi-retired to be a full time mom. In 2000, I was hired as a family advocate for our local Mental Health Association. I took a leave for about five years and returned in 2007 to provide support, education and advocacy assistance to other parents of children with special needs. I'm sure I'll cover more of this in future blogs.

So, what else do I know about that might be of help or interest to others?  I know a lot about heartbreak, definitely. In 1973 when I was 19 years old I had a child out of wedlock and relinquished her for adoption. It was a decision I felt coerced into making - lots of social and family pressure - and relinquishment in a closed records adoption system was still the trend of the day at that time. I'm glad it is not the trend of today. I searched for and found my daughter in 1996 and for a brief time we had a very good relationship. Meeting her gave me some closure about all of the secrecy that had surrounded her relinquishment. During my search years I became very involved in adoption reform issues and support for other members of the adoption triangle, which was an interesting life experience.  Going back further, however, in 1966 I lost my oldest brother, Stephen, when he was killed by a drunk driver. Steve and I also lost our oldest son, Joshua, in 2008, and my mom, June, passed in 2009. I've lost a lot of people I loved in my lifetime, so coping with grief might become a recurring theme in my blog.

As I reflect on my life there are so many things I wish I had done differently but as my mother often said, "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride." In my youth, I never quite understood the meaning of this analogy, but as I matured, I realized she was telling me, however cryptically, that everybody can't always get what they want. Ergo, the blog title, "If Wishes Were Horses..."  There will always be things in life each of us wishes we had done differently and in my blogspot I hope to address some of those issues while also exploring alternate options. I hope you will follow me on this journey.